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Some of the things my girlfriend says are just obnoxious.This is me. This is my girlfriend. This is our joint blog.
- Date: February 14 2011
- Time: 09·51 AM
- Notes: 18
You can’t turn down a special Valentine’s Day blow job! What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Date: January 16 2011
- Time: 12·59 PM
- Notes: 17
Well, I understand that, but there’s a difference between going out and drinking a martini and doing shots at six o’clock in the morning. The second one is alcoholism. Which we’re trying to avoid.
- Date: December 15 2010
- Time: 05·36 PM
- Notes: 10
This guy’s been addicted to heroin for ten years, he’s completely coherent, AND he’s still injecting into his arm? HOW? He doesn’t need an intervention, he needs a plaque.
- Date: December 13 2010
- Time: 07·36 PM
- Notes: 3
my girlfriend talks science.
- Me: You know what's scary? There aren't very many bees left.
- My Girlfriend: What?
- Me: Because they don't reproduce as much as they used to.
- My Girlfriend: Same with frogs.
- Me: But frogs don't make our whole ecosystem work.
- My Girlfriend: Yeah, but I like frogs.
- Date: November 30 2010
- Time: 08·26 AM
- Notes: 2
We might have to consult Bill Nye the Science Guy on this one.
- Date: November 16 2010
- Time: 07·42 PM
- Notes: 14
I’ve just learned that, one hundred per cent of the time, people are just too fucking stupid to even argue with.
- Date: November 14 2010
- Time: 11·11 AM
- Notes: 2
Fat… so fucking fat… the backs of my legs were fat! Jesus Christ look how fat my fingers were!
- Date: November 13 2010
- Time: 09·30 PM
- Notes: 3
Is that—no, that’s pants too. Jesus Christ, I only own two pairs of pants but everything is pants right now.
- Date: November 13 2010
- Time: 03·07 AM
- Notes: 15
Man, I wanna have an orgasm so good I turn to coins.
- Date: November 02 2010
- Time: 12·27 AM
- Notes: 5
Me right now is the reason you see girls pissing in public.
- Date: October 16 2010
- Time: 09·25 AM
- Notes: 7
I have half the jug of Kool-Aid in this cup. It is mine for the rest of the day. Don’t touch it.
- Date: October 05 2010
- Time: 07·27 PM
- Notes: 4
Okay well i’m not the only one who ate out of that bowl so at least one of you ate the other’s semen today…
- Date: September 27 2010
- Time: 07·42 PM
- Notes: 3
I have a serious question…do you think there are enough stripes in my wardrobe?
- Date: September 24 2010
- Time: 06·53 PM
- Notes: 5
I wish I still had my recipe for making Caesar salad tableside, but I’m pretty sure we tore it up and snorted cocaine through it at one point.
- Date: September 20 2010
- Time: 11·28 AM
- Notes: 26
